Washington, DC, USA. From the viewpoint of evolutionary biology, if such a thing can be said to have a viewpoint, the female body is designed to attract and retain, if possible, the male. Similarly, the male body has evolved to be sexually attractive to the female.

That is the way of the world. The way of primates and most all of the creatures on this planet, God or no. The human way.


Not that I am attracted to a male bonobo or any of our other great ape cousins. Interspecies sexual attraction, if it exists, is normally the province of lonely, over-hormoned males (although I understand a female gorilla was once quite smitten with actor-comedian Robin Williams, an especially hairy armed male specimen of humanity).

Our large brains, however, are a rather late addition in the equation and the efficacy of that evolutionary branch is still being assessed. Ultimately the human brain may prove, like many other speciation experiments, to be a biological dead end. Lately, say within the last couple three thousand years, our facile brains have made a grand mess of it all. We invent human rules that go well beyond the physical realities of our biology.

The Peoples of The Book are quite firm in this. Because human males often find their desire quite strong for human females, the female must be treated as a quite near evil that must be dealt with. Did not our male created scripture tell us so?

• Females must only dress so.
  
  
• Only go here, not there. Only do this and not that.

For did not our male created scripture tell us that males were more important, first and most of all. Is not the lowliest male greater than the highest female? Is our god not the father of all creation? Did not across the face of the void He breathe?

A book is a book is a book is The Book. And blood is blood is blood is blood except if it is flowing monthly. A male cannot bear children. Our gods made it this way and this is good. A baby appears as if by magic out of a female’s womb. The blessings of the gods are upon us, but the vessel of the gods is bloody and unclean. Thus says the scriptures, thus says our gods, thus say we all. This is my body, this is my blood.

Sorry, it doesn’t matter, you’re female. For heaven and earth will pass away before anyone willingly surrenders power and privilege to someone they hold to be inferior.

Meanwhile, wide-eyed here in Babylon, procreation continues, the species survives, and social theorists storm the biological barricade. Secular and Theological, they hoist their battle standards in the name of god, country, but not necessarily human biology.

There are sexual puritans to the Right of us, true believers who would deny us our humanity. There are sexual reformers to the Left of us who would replace human biology with abstract academic constructs and Cylon Borgs. The rest of us are somewhere here in the middle.

When I crawl out my window I see the usual suspects pushing their way into the center ring hoping to go viral on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, and Google +. I went viral the first time somewhere c. 1995. It’s overrated. Never no mind it doesn’t last (nothing ever never does), people always want their fifteen minutes. “Occupy Everything” is only the latest example.

In Babylon, however, sex doesn’t change, only the strictures do.

• No sex outside of marriage. Females must obey, males, not so much.
  
  
• No birth control. Females should be pregnant and not heard.
  
  
• No masturbation. The Church is quite serious about this. Masturbation is a mortal sin after all and you will go to hell. It’s in The Book. Really.
  
  
• Females should be clothed from head to toe. Variations of this exist in all religions at all times through human history. Males must be protected from their inability to resist desire.
  
  
• No sex with anyone who has the same body parts as you do. Exceptions, of course, for ministers, televangelists, and certain Roman Catholic priests and politicians.
  
  
• No sex with children. See above for special pedophilia exceptions.

Shooting fish in a barrel. Except for pedophilia, the most grievous sin I know, the other five are theological assumptions based on varying degrees of personal revelation. The certainty of religious hubris speaks louder than their any of their precious books.

The realm of gender theorists and feminist scholars is no better.

• A female who has ever had sex with a male is not a true lesbian. Only the vaginally pure may enter the house of Sappho (a rule to which Sappho herself did not adhere). Did I mention the penis is evil? The tool of the devil, I suppose.
  
  
• Females who wear dresses have been subjugated by the evil male patriarchy. Doesn’t matter whether you like to wear dresses. Doesn’t matter whether you look better in dresses. Still subjugation. You are a slave to the patriarchy.
  
  
• Woman does not exist. Man does not exist. Both are simply constructs imposed upon women by society to keep women in their proper place.
  
  
• If allowed to develop on their own, the likes, dislikes, lifestyles and toy choices of female and male babies would soon be indistinguishable from one another. Evolution doesn’t count. Genetics and genomes do not matter. Nurture is everything.

Babel MenWhat a piece of ignorant, pious academic nonsense born full fabric by feminist scholars desperate for the piece of the action. Physical genitalia are irrelevant, a biological left over from an earlier stage of evolution. A person with a working, erectable penis can be a woman, if she says she is. A person who continues to conceive and give birth to babies through a uterus and vagina can be a man if he says he is.

Shakespeare himself could not weave such an intellectually fraudulent farce without turning red with embarrassment. He wouldn’t waste the English Pounds. The groundlings would laugh at him, not with him.

The academics, of course, aren’t laughing. They are serious and damn the science that dares to contradict them. And that sureness in their inerrancy and willingness to disregard any science they find inconvenient, joins the left academics firmly at the hip with the right religious conservatives they say they despise.

Both of them would be Oliver Cromwell if given the chance.

A plague on both your houses!

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