Fairfax, VA, USA. All of us are human, some of us less so. Our species is plagued with humanoid raptors subsisting on the psychological flesh of fellow Homo Sapiens.

Well talonned and sharp tongued, the modern humanoid raptor cruises the internet, searching for victims he can terrorize. They often travel in packs.

Once they choose a truly human victim, the raptor humans attack without mercy.


For our purposes, humanoid raptors can be broadly described as relatively large, bipedal, carnivorous primates who are adapted for tearing and piercing the flesh of other primates. They are smart enough not only to hunt in packs but can learn, if pressed, to turn doorknobs and cause things that go bump in the night.



The term raptor derives from the Latin word rapere, meaning to seize or take by force.

The word entered the English language in 1873 but humanoid raptors have hidden within the human species for as long as Homo has existed.Given a choice of prey, humanoid raptors will choose small, quivering primates who are isolated from other primates. Whatever is not ceded to them, they will attempt to seize and take by force of number. If anything holds true, humanoid raptors are cowards and bullies who use their numbers and single focus objectives to cower others into submission.

One defensive strategy is to quickly agree to whatever their current objective and let them go on to their next target of opportunity. This method, however, is a short term fix that only encourages the raptors to gather in ever greater numbers with even more demands. In the long term, however, it is almost always better to take a stand than slowly rust away and, eventually, if you show determinations, even the most rapacious raptor will find you too much trouble and move on in search of easier prey to slash and occasionally disembowel.

From ghoulies and ghosties
And long-leggedy beasties
And things that go bump in the night,
Good Lord, deliver us! [N2]

A habitual inhabitant of near dark conditions, the humanoid raptor often clothes himself in bright colors in a cunning attempt to glamor you into submission. Do not let them fool you, they are not what they seem.

You will know them by their deeds, not their words. What they say they need is not what they actually do. A scorpion is still a scorpion no matter what side of the river you are on.

A raptor’s promise is only good until their hunger grows strong again. And it always grows stronger. Soon the raptors will once again become driven to feed, only this time their spouses and friends will bear the brunt of their desire. Not that there is anything wrong with desire — some of my best friends have desire. But it seldom becomes an overarching drive that dominates their lives to the exclusion of most everything else.

An average, upright-standing humanoid raptor is about the size of a modern-day baseball player. Some, however, are as large and muscular as a professional football player. No matter what the size, the raptor is found in close vicinity of other raptors, preferring to hunt potential victims in packs. Think of them as pack-hunting carnivores.

I would compare raptor activity to that of a wolf pack but that would be disrespectful to Gray Wolves everywhere. The Gray Wolf (Canis lupus) is a social predator, living in nuclear families consisting of a mated pair, their offspring and, occasionally, adopted immature wolves.

Humanoid raptors give no indication of family life. They would seem to be born fully feathered, driven to fill their singular hunger at the expense of all others. They are known to gather each year in large multi-packs in southern territories where they compare notes, exchange addresses, and report to each other how well they have been doing. Think of the annual gathering as a self-licking ice cream cone. [N3]

Raptors are often identified by their bright plumage but the one constant would seem to be their innate vanity. If one were to believe them, they are the harbingers of all knowledge, the brightest and best-fashioned creatures in all God’s creation. If you were to challenge them — or even request a simple clarification — the raptor pack will attack and begin to strip the flesh from your bones. The integrity of the pack is primal and must needs override and destroy perceived threats to the continued existence of the members of the pack.

Conformity is all. The personal need for group harmony and the collective cover provided by the pack trumps rationality always. Pack survival surmounts everything, including individuality and reason which are treated as thought crimes. Pack members display a loyal willingness to say that black is white when Pack discipline requires and possess the actual ability to believe that black is white, and more, to know that black is white, and to forget that one has ever believed the contrary. [N4]

What the pack believes is what the pack believes. The moment is absolute.

The raptor pack would make every one of us their property, subject to the demands of a small, fanatical core who fill an otherwise unneeded power vacuum. Every minute of every day, if the pack had their way, we would be chained in absolute subjection and serfdom to the bidding of the self-selected few.

That isn’t going to happen, is it? They are few and we are many. The humanoid raptors may take their individual victims but they only win if we stand separately and ignore their loud, bitter calls.

For if we fail to hang together and resist the predations of the vocal raptor pack, we assuredly shall all hang separately. [N5]

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