. . . and, always, we are true to ourselves

 

Arlington, VA, USA. There are dozens of us born transsexual working inside the Pentagon. Dozens more working for the Federal Government in the Washington Metropolitan Area. Many of us have long transitioned to being women and men with transsexual history; others are experiencing the marvels of transitioning; still more are just beginning.

Post-transition, few of us announce our transsexual history when we enter a room. As far as I know, none of us deny it. There isn’t much point in denial: our work histories and reputations are known quantities; our security files are filled with multiple fingerprint cards and A. K. A.’s. Security databases keep good track of who we are and our levels of clearance.

Our successes vary, as they would in any organization, as do our careers which range from administrative help to action officers to senior executives. We are judged on our on-the-job performances, not whether we have a transsexual history. This is especially true for those of us who work in the Department of Defense: the success of the mission is tantamount (in my case, making sure that the needs of soldiers in the field are met).

We have well paying jobs, some more than less. I’m not sure how helpful this is because not everyone can get a better job, but a key to any transition is access to a steady cash flow that pays the medical bills and purchases the meds, especially the hormones. If the cash flow is steady, everything else becomes easier. You can’t really do this on the cheap and expect the transition path to be easy. The world is full of unknown unknowns that jump up and try to bite you. Money helps you bite back.

We are highly employable and could get hired on elsewhere. Almost to the person, we are skilled professionals expect the system will work for us. If you have knowledge, skill, and talent, business and supervisors will put up with almost anything rather than risk losing you. If we were let go to day, most of us would latch back on with good jobs in a relatively long time. If you possess a saleable skill, the system will try to accommodate you. If you are unskilled, supervisors might find it easier to hire someone new rather than change their current practices.

We work in a major metropolitan area. Don’t try this in a small town where everyone lives in similar houses, belongs to similar churches, and knows everyone else’s business. A metropolitan area tolerates, if not encourages diversity. What may be unusual a smaller town is commonplace in a large city: there are dozens of people born transsexual working inside the Pentagon.

We work inside an educated workforce. Just as a metropolitan city encourages diversity, an educated workforce normally embraces difference. Washington is a world capital, the workforce is sophisticated, well traveled, and experienced. They’ve seen a lot, read even more. It’s difficult to shock or surprise them. Transition is much easier inside a large, cosmopolitan city.

We are professional. We look, dress, and act like the professionals we are. Nothing in our appearance calls attention to ourselves; our actions do not set off alarms with the powers that be. Although we may not always color inside the lines, we do not insist on spray fluorescent paint all over the walls.

We are good at what we do. We speak well, we write well, we are subject matter experts. We know it, our bosses know it. Hard work done well results in good performance reports and promotions. By not doing the job well, you give your supervisor an opportunity to throw obstacles in front of transition or, if you do poorly enough, get rid of you.

We work within the system but compromise only when necessary. We all know the system and how to play realpolitik. We stand up for ourselves and our beliefs, but, when compelling reasons exist, are willing to compromise if the mission (and our job) requires it. The world is not black and white: we are willing to accept a certain grayness if no moral imperatives are violated.

We are open about who we are. If asked, none of us deny we have a transsexual history. Although transsexuality is not number one on our list of discussion topics, we do not avoid the subject should it come up. Co-workers and supervisors appreciate honesty. If you are open about who you are, you cannot be blackmailed; if you cannot be blackmailed, you are not a security risk: you keep your security clearance.

We are goal oriented and don’t accept no for an answer. The same skills we have as professionals apply to our personal lives. We tend to have lists and milestone schedules for what we need to do (divorce, shopping lists, surgery, the kids’ soccer schedules, a new job) and we keep at it. If we hit an obstacle or if someone tells us no, we don’t give up. Instead we continue to push forward and work around whatever impedes us. Although progress may be slow at times, we never stop moving towards our ultimate goal whether that goal be gender correct legal identification or a fresh heritage turkey for the holidays.

We don’t whine, instead we remove or work around obstacles. There just isn’t enough hours in the day to spend time whining about how unfair the world is. We accept responsibility for our actions and confront our obstacles. If the fault is within us, we take whatever course is needed to improve ourselves; if the fault is with the system, we work to beat the system at its own game by removing the obstacle, correcting the fault, or, sometimes, just moving outside the lines and going around the problem.

I don’t pretend any of this easy or the road is short and smooth. But those of us who are successful have many traits in common. Some can deride us as selling out to the system or claim that we are fortunate, but the fact remains, we have been successful in transition, successful on the job, and accepted as men and women by our friends, our fellow workers, and by the system (the hated capitalistic white old Western European male patriarchy) that pays us so well.

And, always, we are true to ourselves.

 

 

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