Fairfax, VA, USA. The internet is filled with lightweight crazies full of anger and arrogance, self-appointed arbitrators of cultural mores and political correctness. If you read the comments to the columns and science articles here at TS-Si, you are quite familiar with their avid vocalizations.

I know Sharon and I are.


I’m the bad cop and Sharon’s the good cop, except when I’m the good cop and Sharon’s the bad one. It’s all very confusing. Some times we are both the bad cop.

Guess we had a bad day.

We’ve been told that Sharon’s the smart one, I’m the dumb one, but not on those days apparently that Sharon knows nothing and I’m smart by default. I’m not sure when and where we took a publicly available Stanford Binet or the IQ equivalent determinate. I haven’t taken one since early high school. (Sharon yawned when I asked about her experience).

And neither of us would ever dream of joining MENSA — it’s too much like joining a mediocre college frat house. The only thing duller than the conversation are the MENSA members themselves. Oscar Wilde would never approve. (Sharon went to one of their parties — she fell asleep in her boredom).

Anyone who actually attaches any significance or importance to scoring in the top 2% on a standardized test simply does not possess a world class brain. A multiple choice test is to reality as memorizing multiplication tables is to Quantum Physics. Being skillful at test taking or multiplication is often helpful but seldom life changing and doesn’t tell you squat about smart or dumb or the quality of the wetware.

Oh, and our science sucks. We been told so by multiple pocket protected engineers (even though the science comes from the Duke University Medical Center, Max Planck Society and Institutes, and Nobel Prize winners, among many other research facilities and universities). We know they are engineers because they tell us they are (not to be confused with the posters who seem to oppose all scientific research that does not confirm their political or religious beliefs).

If they don’t like the science, the science must be bad and Sharon and I along with it. They never seem to offer any hard science research to support their views, only soft science philosophy, social engineering academic theory, or left liberal (or sometimes right conservative) political correctness.

It’s mind numbelling, it is.

Especially the linguists, gender theorists, and classical psychiatrists who seem to believe that biology means nothing, preferring to explain everything in terms of id, ego, and super ego, or social constructs or a combination of them. Forget neurobiology, all human behavior is directly the result of either overwhelming societal pressure on the individual or some ethereal soul like creation called “the mind.”

They all seem to think our science sucks and we’re pretty stupid too.

Sometimes I agree with them when, giving the benefit of the doubt and hoping for sudden burst of enlightenment from some of the commentators, we let the verbal assaults go on a day or two too long. We should have our heads examined.

When was the last time you ever saw the crazies change their spots? Yeah, me neither.

When all else fails, the crazies don’t like the way we look. Apparently we don’t meet some semi-mythical standard of beauty has been established by …… Anyway, when they get upset, the crazies don’t like the way we look.

Even though both of us hold 9-5 jobs in the public arena (actually 6-6 jobs — this is Washington where you are allowed to flex in before 6 am and flex out after 6 p m — the time on the clock doesn’t necessarily have any relationship to the work you are doing) …

Anyway, even though both of us hold typical Washington jobs which require us to be out meeting people, running conferences, talking to politicos, we are told repeatedly that we don’t pass. Neither Sharon or I know exactly what they (the transgenders and the crossdressers) mean by pass — women come in all shapes and sizes and do not need approval of how well they conform to some male sexual fantasy.

I exist. Sharon exists. We are women. Get over it.

That we don’t look like some heavily made-up twenty year boy dressed like a weekend Belgian street walker is intentional. By definition, women don’t need to pass. We’re women, we simply are. We be. Get over it.

It’s all so mind dumbelling, it is.

On their blogs where they believe no one sees them but other like-minded crazies, I’ve read that I am uneducated and ill-read, not to mention totally uniformed about whatever religious or political belief the particular crazy may be currently professing to be true. Usually this assertion is written in poorly written semi-English sentences or, failing that, a series of short gutturals interspersed with repetitive Anglo-Saxon colloquialisms.

Sometimes Sharon is the one who is uneducated and ill-read.

I’m beginning to think that the Crazies need to form some sort of professional society that would enforce minimum standards of insult. The current level of professional crazies couldn’t get an entry job in the Uzbekistan Mafia.

If they can’t agree on something as basic as which one of us is uneducated, you’d think they’d all shut up until they’ve gotten their act together and worked out all the kinks in their internet strategy.

Not that they are kinky. I mean, just because I’ve twice used variations of the word kinky (oops thrice times) in the last few sentences, shouldn’t be construed to mean I think the crazies are kinky (damn, four times).

I would never say that or even imply the crazies are kinky (five). Or bent (once, but that is enough).

That would be presumptuous on my part,

and arrogant if I were to judge the crazies I’ve never had the luck to meet.

I’d have to be pretty stupid to write a column making fun of the crazies and then post it where they could read it. I’d be refusing to be intimidated by their blogs and just be asking for them to submit more ill-written comment to TS-Si.

I’m not stupid. And neither is Sharon.

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